if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
