They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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