I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
