She is in my trunk
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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