So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
