he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize