We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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