there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
