Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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