In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
