i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
