I want to stick my p in your. b.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
A+ Viking dick
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
