I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
