Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
