I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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