no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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