he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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