One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
the room spins SO much faster in panama
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
