At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
