You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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