Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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