fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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