Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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