just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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