It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I will pee on everything he values.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize