ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
