they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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