im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
