ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
