Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
