He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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