i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
