It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
