They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
