Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
