So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
