that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize