No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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