How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize