My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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