Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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