Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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