Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize