Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
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