just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
