i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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