we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize