here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
