grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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