It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
