i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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