I heard we made out
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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