drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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