You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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