So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I wish you could order shots online.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize