Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
