The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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