I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
