marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it hurts more in the daytime
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
