I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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