You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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