girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
