i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
