i don't like sucking hair
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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