you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize
