he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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