having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
