I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
